How did we get here?

do you ever just stop and think, how did we get here?

you feel like you blinked and everything changed.

i recently experienced another huge loss in my family that really made me stop in my tracks.

how did we end up here?

growing up, my family was very close. we would go on family vacations every year and were always a party of 11, seven of us cousins all huddled up at the kids table. family dinners on vacations are still my favorite memories because it was always the place we plotted our next crazy adventure.

when my cousin passed away and I flew to New Jersey I couldn’t help but think how did we end up here? In 2016 when Cooper passed away, we went on a vacation and I remember it being so surreal looking around the dinner table and only seeing six of us, and now, the next trip, there would be five.

realizing we lost two young people sucks, i have no idea how we ended up here or why they were taken at such a young age. i have no idea how we got here and i have no idea when we will catch a break.

“when will we catch a break? isn’t it someone else’s turn to go through hell and back? what did we do to deserve this?”

all thoughts that are completely normal when you lose two young people and are fighting grief.

but it really got me thinking, when WILL we catch a break? when will life be easy and happy, like a scene from a Disney movie?

the answer to that question is, we will NEVER catch a break.

there will never be a time in life where we aren’t thrown a curveball, that is simply what life is. it is a rollercoaster with ups, downs, and even a few corkscrews. it can be thrilling and make you wanna throw up all at the same time. but it is the best rollercoaster you will ever go on.

so, we can choose to continue living in the mindset that things will never get better or we can choose to accept the fact that bad things will come to us, but so will good things. it’s a change in perspective and no one can force you to see it that way, you have to CHOOSE to see life differently. you have to CHOOSE to find joy in pain, in sorrow, in grief. you have to CHOOSE to laugh even when you’re in situations that just suck.

its. a. choice.

lately, i’ve had really bad luck. i’ve been in the hospital, struggling with another loss in the family, struggling with holidays coming up and Cooper not being here, adjusting to my big move, and even an awesome case of athletes foot and a boil on my butt (lol!).

i have NOT been the most positive, happy, or joyful person and it makes me upset because i know it’s my choice to choose joy.

Rachel Hollis, the author of “Girl, Wash Your Face” sums this concept up really nicely, “While you’re not in control of what life throws at you, you are in control of the fight.”

I love that (and her, if you haven’t read her book you NEED to!), you are not in control of whats happening to you, you are only in control of how you react and how you choose to fight.

so, will you fight?

will you fight for joy?

will you fight for love?

will you fight for the life you know you want?

and most importantly, will you fight for you?

… to my angels, all of me loves all of you. #forevertogether


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