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My favorite thing about my brother dying

I’m 99.9% positive you’re reading this right now because of the title.

And that’s okay.

But there are good things about having a dead brother, as morbid as that sounds. Besides the usual guilt trip (if you’ve lost someone you know you can use the loss for evil, it’s bad but we all do it), I see many positives in the death of my brother. I’ve been thinking about him being dead a lot lately and the good that comes in the small moments, I thought I would share my perspective because its very different than most.

Signs.

The dead, your angels, your spirits, whatever you want to call the people in your life who have passed away, they give you signs from above. It’s different for everyone but when you lose someone you quickly realize the signs they are leaving you. I have a close friend who use to always find pennies, she would pick them up and I always thought it was strange until I realized she lost someone close to her and that was her sign.

My signs from Cooper

Cooper has given me more signs than this blog would know what to do with but I’m going to share my favorites that are constant.

  • 11:11 – pretty much since the night Cooper passed I’ve seen 11:11 every day. Whether the time of day, a license plate, or a random 11:11 post on Facebook. I see it and when most people would say make a wish, I say Coops here.
  • Pennies from heaven – the meaning behind pennies from heaven is that you are highly valued. Your loved one is telling you that you are highly valued and loved. I pick up every penny I find and if you ever empty out my purse you will for sure find at least 5 pennies!
  • 5 – Speaking of the number 5, that was Cooper’s Basketball number so I always see things in fives!
  • Feathers – They say that when angels are near, feathers appear. I see feathers ALL. THE. TIME. From feathers outside on the beach, to feathers flying out of a pillow or couch, to even randomly finding a feather in my shower… no idea how that got there! My angel is obviously near often.
  • Doves – We released doves at Coopers Celebration of Life, ever since then I always see one single dove. Even this morning a dove was sitting on the top of my car as I got in, I like to think he was protecting as I got on the road.
  • His Name – COOPER, I’ve met so many Coopers since he’s passed, at one point I even nannied for a little boy who’s middle name is Cooper. The name was never common until he passed away, now I meet all the Coopers. This passed weekend I was at a restaurant with a friend and of course they had “Coopers Calamari” on the menu!

Yesterday I woke up and could not physically get myself out of bed. It was one of those days where you feel the weight of the world on top of your body so heavily you think you are sinking. But I persevered and not only got up, I got up and did a workout. I mean I could barely get myself in the shower afterwards because I still had NO energy. But I’ve made a promise to not break promises to myself so I had to get up and follow through.

As I went throughout my day it was like Cooper knew this day was going to be rough. First, I get to work and my clients number was 1111, then I am cleaning the reformers (fun fact: I’m a pilates instructor!) and there on the floor I find a penny! Why in the world their was a penny near a reformer I have no idea except that it was Cooper. Finally I head to the dealership to get some work done on my car and the guy helping me out… of course his name is Cooper! Then I find ANOTHER penny as I sit down to wait for my car.

Friends, Cooper is in everything. My favorite part of my brother dying is that he didn’t actually die. He’s living, he’s all around me. The more I choose to accept his signs, the more signs he gives me. I was told that the signs from your loved ones stop after a year or two of grieving them, but I disagree. I think the signs stop when you stop looking for them. I am always looking for Cooper during my days; I listen for him, I look for him, and I am always thinking about him.

Everything in life is perspective, including Coopers death.

My perspective can be negative or my perspective can be positive. I can CHOOSE to be mad at the world for the things I’ve been through or I can choose to become stronger because I’ve been through the pain. Life is all about a choice. A choice in how you choose to live, a choice in what perspective you will choose to see, and a choice in how you choose to react in situations.

I CHOOSE to see the positive in Coopers death.

And I am CHOOSING to be in control of my perspective.

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4 Comments

  1. Aunt Antoinette
    February 5, 2019 / 5:17 pm

    Beautifully written and I couldn’t agree with you more.
    Our angels are with us always….

    • Kassidyowen
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 12:00 am

      Thank you so much Aunt Antoinette! You are so right, they are all around us!

  2. Gabriele
    February 7, 2019 / 1:18 am

    I have tears in my eyes reading this my beautiful friend!
    You have no idea how much this particular blog is exactly what I needed right now .
    Thank you 🙏
    I love you Kassidy

    • Kassidyowen
      Author
      February 7, 2019 / 2:15 pm

      I love you so much Gabi!! Thank you for all the support through this year and writing this blog, you mean so much to me!

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