Have you watched the show YOU on Netflix? If you haven’t, I highly recommend it.
However, it gave me some pretty interesting insights on life, love, and all things relationships.[Fair warning, if you haven’t seen the show but intend to watch it, stop reading here because I giveaway some big parts of the show]
In the show, Joe has a glass box in the basement of his bookstore where he keeps first editions of specific books. He ends up using this glass box for evil; killing people and trapping Beck. Aside from the major anxiety I have picturing myself locked in a glass box, I can’t help but think that is exactly what my anxiety does to me.
It traps me in a glass cage, it locks me in, teasing me with the key. Surrounding me, are books. Books of my past, of my fears, of my anxieties, depressions, and PTSD. I can’t help but flip through them re-reading the story that is my life, wondering what I could of done better.
Eventually, Beck tricks Joe into opening the door and when he does she escapes, locking HIM in the cage.
Sometimes, when I find all the joy, when I muster up all my courage to be brave and be fully who God intended me to be, I am able to escape the box.
But then, Joe catches her and that’s where the story ends.
My story doesn’t end getting trapped in the box forever, but it is a constant cycle, in and out of the glass box. Sometimes I escape the cage and am free, then just like Joe grabbing Beck, my anxiety grapples at my throat bringing me back into the cage.
I’ve fought anxiety since I was little but never knew I had it until my freshman year of college, the same year Cooper was diagnosed with Leukemia. Since then I’ve gone through, and still go through, bouts of anxiety, depression, and my favorite, PTSD.
I often find myself trapped in the glass cage, fear haunting me from the outside. I use to sit in that box with no hope of escaping. But over the last year I’ve learned a beautiful lesson, sometimes being in that cage is for the good. It makes me stronger, because there is always a way out.
I just have to figure out HOW to escape.
If you feel trapped in a glass box because of your past, your fears, your failures. I’m not going to tell you its all going to be okay once you get out, because you’ll at some point be back in that cage.
I will tell you that IT’S OKAY. That you will find a way to escape, that you will find joy through the fear.
Keep pushing forward, keep moving towards joy, keep searching for the key that unlocks the door the to the glass cage.