Haunting Pasts

anyone else terrified of their past?

i am. it haunts me. it is the huge elephant in the room.

see, recently moving across the country where most people do not know my past or my story is both liberating and petrifying.

i determine what parts of my story i will let them into. but for so long my past defined who i was and how people treated me. i was the girl who’s brother had cancer, i was the girl who couldn’t go to things because she had to be at home helping with life while everyone was at the hospital, i was the friend who couldn’t make lunch dates because my anxiety was through the roof wondering if my brother was even alive. then i became the girl who’s brother died, the girl who looked strong on the outside but was shattered into a million pieces on the inside, the girl you didn’t know how to talk to because, really, what do you say to a 21 year old grieving young woman?

my past haunts me. yet, without my past i wouldn’t have the present. i had to go through the things i went through in order to be where i am today. i had to struggle and hurt, cry and mourn. i had to go through the worst to see the view from the mountain i am now standing on.

when you look at your past you have two choices, you can choose to let it define you negatively or you can choose to let it make you stronger. struggle. breeds. greatness. my all time favorite quote (yes its from Jurassic World!). i love this quote because it has never been said better. the hardest things you go through will be the things that make you most great.

be grateful for your past, it has made you who you are today and who you will become tomorrow. with that being said, who do you want to be tomorrow?


bull crap. i’m calling bull crap on all your excuses as to why you’re not happy.

you don’t have your dream car, dream house. you don’t have a boyfriend or children. you don’t have enough money or enough of anything… but boy oh boy, when you get those things you’re sure to be HAPPY.

bull. freaking. crap.

happiness is NOT defined by stuff, or things, or even other people. happiness is not measured in what you have or what you want to have. Jay Shetty (@jayshetty) says, “Happiness is not a checklist. A dream job, a fast car, a good home, even love, mean nothing at all if you have not yet found a way to feel full and content in your own mind and heart.”


this is the most profound thing i’ve learned in 2018.

other people are not making me unhappy, i am making myself unhappy by allowing myself to agree with their negativity. by allowing myself to be aggravated when something doesn’t go my way or when someone says something i disagree with. i am LETTING these people steal my joy.

happiness is only achieved by choosing to love who you are and who you want to become.

choosing to love where you are right now and where you will be someday soon.

happiness is CHOOSING to be content in the now, and if you don’t like whats happening right now then CHANGE IT.

the second most profound thing i’ve learned in 2018 is that when i don’t like where i am at in my life i can change where i’m going.

you don’t like your job? quit. find a better one that you love more. or find a hobby that gets you through the job you don’t like.

you don’t like the relationship your in? end it. it’s only creating more pain by staying in it.

you don’t love the degree you’re seeking? change your major.

you don’t enjoy the city you currently live in? move.


and yes, i know. its not this simple if you are married and have a family to consider when you make certain decisions. but i am a firm believer that even when you’re in a relationship you are still you and your partner is still them. it is two people coming together to be BETTER, not to be ONE. you are still your own person, so go be that person.

whatever is making you unhappy is YOUR problem. so stop the bull crap excuses. stop blaming other people for YOU being unhappy.

honestly, its your own damn fault.

the choice is yours. you stay in your unhappiness or you decide to make a change.

“respect yourself enough, to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”

everything has a time and a place. some things were only meant to serve you for a certain period of time. some relationships were only meant to help you grow to a certain point.

and that’s okay.

its okay to outgrow people, its okay to give yourself permission to move on to the next thing that will MAKE YOU HAPPY.

but you have to give yourself the permission to change.

you have to give yourself the permission to be happy.

it’s hard work, it is a constant choice of not letting the little things annoy you, having A LOT of patience, and always choosing joy over every thing.

respect yourself enough to choose happiness. you deserve it.

Serious Topic: Dance Parties

if you follow me on instagram (which if you don’t you totally should, it’s a party over there @kassidy.owen), you know i LOVE a good dance party. 2 minutes into your favorite song and your whole mood can change. but somewhere along the ride of life i stopped having dance parties, i stopped living for the joy a good song could bring me, i stopped dancing through life.

that’s when i knew things needed to change.

when i stopped having dance parties, when i stopped rolling my windows down and singing on the top of my lungs, that’s when i knew i had let the things of this world get the best of me.

when i was little a good family friend gave me a sign that said “dance as if no one was watching”, a popular quote i’m sure you’ve heard. it was hung above my door and i would read it all the time but never really understood the meaning behind it.

as an adult i totally get what the quote’s saying, don’t worry about other peoples opinions, JUST DO YOU. do whatever you want and don’t think so much about what everyone else is going to think about you. dance as if no one is watching, because at the end of the day their opinions don’t matter, the only opinion that matters is YOURS.

so, do you dance as if no one is watching?

are you confident enough in who you are to dance in a world full of people who are just trying to “fit in”?

will you be the one dancing or will you be the one standing in the crowd WISHING you had the confidence to be the one dancing?

as many of you know i am a nanny to two extraordinary little girls, who would probably be mad if they read this and i said i was their nanny and not their sister (lol!). i’ve been with them since they were born and love them beyond words. they are my constant dance party partners and sometimes we dance in the kitchen and sometimes we dance in the middle of Main Street at Magic Kingdom. why? because i want to teach them to “dance as if no one is watching”. i want to help them build confidence in who they are by remembering it doesn’t matter who is around, you BE WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. how do i help them do that? i make them have dance parties in the middle of big crowds and i encourage them to be silly and have fun no matter who is watching. because at the end of the day you will never regret being in a dance party, you will only regret not joining one.

These are the days

its happened. i can’t keep up with all of my ideas for this blog! so what did i do? i created a space for inspiration, because lets face it, who doesn’t need a little inspiration these days? 

going through life is ironically LONELY. now, i am single so i can’t speak for you old married folks (just kidding lol) but i can say i have faced my fair share of lonely days.

you know the days when you’re down in the dumps, having a pity party of one, feeling as though no one is on your side? yup. i’m currently raising both my hands because that. is. me. (oh wait if i’m raising both my hands, how am i typing? sorry. ADHD.)

okay back on topic. you’re sad, alone, and feel like you can’t compete with the ever competitive world we live in. FRIEND, I GET IT. i am right there with you in it, feeling all the feels. 

BUT. let me shine light on a different perspective. what if the days that SUCK are actually the most defining days of our lives? what if they open a chapter in our hearts that has yet to be discovered and allow us to sink deeper into who we really are? what if these are the days?

what if these are the days that are truly defining who we are as a person? 

what if we let the pity party sink in. let the loneliness sink in and figure out whats really going on in our hearts? once we figure out the root of the problem it could change everything. 

friends, your lonely days, THOSE are the days. the days that you have to reflect on who you are and who you are becoming. 

these are the days.

the days you get the chance to focus on you.