Have you ever been to DisneyWorld, or any other large amusement park?
Have you ever watched how efficient the people who control the rides are? They are completely in sync with whats going on around them, each rollercoaster a well oiled machine.
People get off of the ride and immediately more people board, the ride goes and then stops and the same process happens over and over until the clock strikes midnight.
This scenario is a lot like grief. But you are the roller coaster, different emotions board your coaster and then just as fast as they got on, they get off. You never become too familiar with the emotions because of the speed they get on and off. You feel them, then you let them go.
Grieving is just like that, you feel a wave of sadness, and then sadness gets off the ride and is on its way to Toy Story Mania but might have a fast-pass to your coaster later. You never know what emotion will board your ride and you never know how you will react to those emotions. See, you’re not in charge of WHO buys a ticket and rides your ride that day. You don’t get to refuse who gets on the ride, the emotions get on and you have to deal with them for the next 3 minutes.
Thats what makes grief so hard.
As a person who is actively grieving, I have no control over the next emotion that may come my way. However, I do have control of the feeling I choose to react with.
I take so much from this. My emotions are automatic, they are going to happen, but I don’t have to let them control me. I get to choose the feelings I want to have. In regards to grieving, I say that sometimes we have to take in those automatic emotions. But we get to choose how we take them in, for example, if it is the anniversary of Cooper’s death I know the emotion I will have will be sadness. But I can CHOOSE to do things that make me FEEL joy. I can choose to celebrate his life rather than choose to feel distraught about his death.
Friends, everything is perspective.
Your life, your work, your relationships. It’s all about how you look at things.
If you choose negative, you will see negative. If you choose positive, you will see positive. It’s really as simple as that, even with grief.
If I choose to be sad that Cooper is not here, I will be sad.
If I choose to CELEBRATE the years I got with Cooper, I will be JOYFUL.
Choose your perspective.