CONFESSION: I’M NOT A MIND READER

I’ve been challenging myself this week.
The challenge = to recognize I’m not a mindreader.

I know, you’re like WHAT?! Kassidy!!! You can’t read my mind?! I’m mind blown… (insert sarcasm).

But here’s true, I think I can read your mind.
Here’s my example, Sally from down the street texts me to watch her dogs. I respond and say, “Oh Sally I wish I could but I am out of town this week too“. Sally responds and says, “Ok never-mind then.”
OMG CUE MASSIVE PEOPLE PLEASING CHAOS RED ALERT GOING OFF IN KASSIDY’S HEAD BECAUSE I DID NOT READ.. “Ok never-mind then” I READ.. “OK YOU’RE A HORRIBLE FRIEND, I HATE YOU, AND I’M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN”.

And there you have, my wonderful mind reading skills.

But what if I just took Sally for the words she said, not the words I interpreted. How would that change, 1. Our relationship, and 2. My relationship with my head.
See when I attempt to read someones mind, I am causing myself more stress by trying to predict what that person is actually trying to say.
I could save myself so much grief by just accepting what they actually said as truth, and then moving on.

My mind is already filled with a million different anxiety’s and stresses.
Trauma has WIRED my brain to think negatively, to think worst case scenario. But when I recognize that I am not a mind reader, that I am just suppose to take people’s words for what they are actually saying- the pressure is off.

I know I am not the only wanna be mind reader.
I know I’m not the only one trying to interpret other peoples words when in actuality they have already spoke them, there is no mysterious other version of what that person has said- just take them for what they say.
What if we just believe them?
We just choose to let go of our not so real mind reading abilities and hear people out for what they are actually saying instead of what we think they are saying.

What if we believe in other peoples words and choose to silent some of our own?
How could we change the world?
How could we dream bigger dreams?

I peed my pants

When I was little (and by little I mean a freshman in high school), I was TERRIFIED of moths. At one point there was a moth upstairs and there are only two bedrooms upstairs, mine and my sister Julia’s. So as I got Julia to attempt to kill the moth, it some how flew near me and I peed my pants.
No, I am not lying, I peed my pants because of a moth.

I was so petrified over that little guy that I urinated all over myself and the ground. Why in the world am I telling you this?
Because when I think back on that moment the truth is that fear brought me to peeing my pants. I was SO scared I could no longer control my bodily fluids… WOW.

Now I am at a spot in my life where if the thing I am chasing is not making me want to pee my pants, I am not chasing big enough dreams.
My whole life I was scared of moths, I let them torture me.
My whole life I was also scared of chasing my dreams, they tortured me in different ways. I would sit on the edge of what I thought would be a great idea and then I would talk myself out of it.

Do you ever feel like you’re dangling on the edge of something great?
But of course you’re not sure if it’s going to be great… or suck.

GRACIOUS & GRATEFUL THE SHOP

2020 is around the corner and I’ve got some big goals I’m THINKING of adding to my list. But if I’m honest, I’m scared- super scared. What if I don’t achieve the goals? What if they are TOO big?

Then I stop myself and try to remember, at the beginning of 2018 I wrote down I would figure out how to move across the county… and CHECK!
2019, I wrote down I would run a 10K after never running a mile in my life… and CHECK!
I’ve checked off every scary, pee my pants type of fear, I’ve ever wrote down on my New Years list… so if I’m going to the next level, what’s the difference? If I can do ALL those other things, why can’t I do the next thing that’s on my heart?

The only thing stopping me is me.
The only thing that is creating fear in me, is ME choosing doubt.

I have some LARGE, scary dreams I am going to accomplish in 2020.
But the first dream is choosing to believe in myself– choosing to set aside fear, be brave, and BELIVE that I can accomplish anything.

Because at the end of the day,
I am already a boss.
I am already a business OWNER.
I am already a runner.
I am already a great writer.
So I am already going to be great at whatever I accomplish next.

I’m not sure where I learned this concept but it’s stuck with me, “The only person who will believe in your dreams as much as you do, is YOU.”
No one, not your person, not your boyfriend, not even your parents- understand the thing that lights YOUR soul on fire. Only YOU will be able to remind yourself WHY you’re doing the thing your doing every day. Only you will be able to commit to chasing that dream every single day.

I’m dangling on the edge of something great, are you?
I’m going to accomplish that something great whether it’s today or next week or next year, are you?
Are you choosing to chase a dream that makes you wanna pee a little?

See it’s funny, the moth use to chase me and then I would pee my pants.
But now, I chase the moth HOPING I pee my pants a little.
Because peeing my pants only means I did the thing that scared me.
I conquered fear.
I crushed Goliath with a pebble.
I caught the moth.

Unstoppable

“You will never always be motivated, so you must learn to be disciplined”

This is exactly where I am at in my business.
See, I have trained myself to be habitual in many areas of my life. For example, going to the gym and drinking water- those are two things I must do and I know they are on my list every single day.

But, in business, it is easy to lack motivation- especially when it is slow.
Last week I made zero sales. None. I also was not able to focus on my business as I was busy working my other job- so it makes sense my sales were down. I currently do all marketing by myself, so if I am not posting– people are not seeing my blog, shop, or media content. But at the same time it is INSANELY discouraging to have no sales- to think you have progressed in your business to then have your report at the end of the week say “$0.00 profit.”

My limiting thoughts came burrowing through… “Who do you think you are to run a business?”, “If this week was $0.00 profit, next week will for sure be the same”, “You’re 24- who do you think you are to believe you can run a virtual business you can work from anywhere?”, “No one reads what you write– you should just stop writing.”
Now here’s where I have to personally make the choice.
I can choose to believe my limiting thoughts- or I can choose to change my narrative.

Last night before I went to bed I was scrolling through social media when I stumbled upon a post from one of my favorite entrepreneurs, Sara Blakely. If you’re unfamiliar with Sara, just know she is the inventor and owner of Spanx– which she started from her apartment. She is my ultimate mentor when it comes to my business and somehow at the exact moments I’m feeling down about what I’m trying to create, she posts on her social media to remind me that persistence and repetition help create the outcome you want- that, and the power of positive thought. Yesterday, Sara shared a story about spreading positivity and how powerful our thoughts are. I read it and was so inspired- because I have always struggled with my thoughts. I have always believed that my negative self talk was in control- and I was not. But over the years I’ve learned I am ultimately in charge of my thoughts and what I put into the world. So before I fell asleep last night I said my prayers, listed 10 things I was grateful for, and then I sent out positivity- I sent out light. I know it sounds a little witch like but hear me out. I write down every single day “I wish to be light”, I write that down because I truly wish to be a positive light for everyone in my life. So by sending out positive light it is only bound to come back to me- just like in Sara’s example in her post.

I fell asleep with a grateful and positive heart and mind, and after a week of doubt and zero sales… this morning I woke up to a sale. I was mind blown and a little shaken up. I think Jesus was trying to remind me that because of him, I have all the power I need. I just need to trust him and trust in the power he has given me. I have all the power inside of me to create a successful company, to write a successful blog, to be successful in the way Jesus has intended me to be. I just need to believe it and take ownership of the power he has given me.

I know I am not the only one doubting my abilities. I know you are too. And maybe you’re not doubting a business working out or your writing. Maybe you’re doubting your ability to be a mother? Or a student? Or just to make it another day without falling apart?

Let me remind you of something extraordinary.
You have the power.
Jesus has given you the power to be the best version of you- and when you can’t, he’s there to pick you up and say “try again”
You have the power to believe that you are a good mother.
You have the power to believe that you are going to do great in school.
You have the power to believe that you are going to make it through this day.
YOU have the power to believe in YOU.
And when you realize that the power is inside of you, you will be unstoppable.

For more inspiring posts- check out my Instagram!

Is perfection really freedom?

Sometimes I get anxious to write my blogs. Not because of my anxiety but because of my fear that they will lack perfection.

There is probably something in your life that creates anxious feelings within your body- mostly because you’re craving perfection.

Here’s an unpopular thing to say as a bloggerI don’t have an answer for you about perfection. lol – no but really, blogs were designed to help make your life easier. “This recipe will help you make dinner in under 20 minutes!”, “6-pack abs, in 5 minutes or less!”, “Childbirth… it will be easy if you read this blog!”
My blog however, I hope never gives you the answers. I hope my blog leaves you with deep questions that only you can dive in and answer.

So lets tackle perfection- why do we strive for perfection in a world where perfection is unachievable?
Why do we expect perfection when it’s physically impossible to be perfect?

per·fec·tion/pərˈfekSH(ə)n/

  1. the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

The definition of perfection is interesting because it is described as being ‘free’ of all defects. But I do not believe that NOT having defects will allow you to be free. If I lived a “perfect” life that had no flaws- a story that didn’t involve my brother dying and running for my life in a shooting- I would not be free, I would be shackled. I would be restrained to a life without lessons.

A life without lessons, is not a free life- it is a broken life.

A life full of lessons is a life well spent- it is a life full of stories that taught you and allowed you to grow.
I would choose growth over perfection every time.

Every time I choose to open my computer and write, I am allowing myself to grow. To grow as a writer, a blogger, and as a person.
And every time I write a blog that is not perfect, I am freed.
Freed of the very thing that causes me to grow.

I am grateful that I am not perfect.
I am grateful that I am incapable of writing a perfect blog post, or a perfect Instagram post, or buying the perfect items for my shop.
I am grateful that every time I choose to be imperfect, I am choosing to allow myself to be free.

What things in your life are you forcing to be perfect, when you could allow yourself to instead- be free?

This Monday, I ask you to free yourself.
It’s going to be a challenge, because if you’re anything like me you have several things you try to be perfect at- but just remember, a perfect life is a life without experience, without joy, without adventure.
A life tethered to perfection, and one I personally, do not want to live.

How will you choose to be free today?

Shop This Look: Women Floral A Line Skirt

My People

Remember when you dreamed for the life you currently have?

4 years ago I came home from my very first trip to Naples and said, “One day I’m moving there!” Today I live in Florida. The dream came true! Yet I am the first one to crave the next dream I have lined up instead of basking in the one I’ve accomplished.

I wish my blog was bigger.
I wish I had a bigger following.
I wish I could create more content.

All things that will happen organically as I choose consistency over the easy way out. But, if I keep chasing the “next great thing” or “the next 1,000 followers” I miss out on what’s right in front of me. The opportunity to serve the people who are already at my table. The followers and readers I already have, the people who support me day in and day out.

For so long I served the people in the crowd, the people who I wanted to be at my table, supporting me. The whole time I was ignoring the people behind me, the people already sitting at my table, waiting for me to serve them.
Whether there are 10 people at that table or 9,000, they are at my table because they believe in me, those are the people I need to focus on.

I focus on the people I wish loved me- and I know I’m not the only one.

I spend so much energy focusing on the people I wish loved me, the people I wish approved of me, the people I wish wanted to be apart of my life.

I recently discovered that me spending time WISHING they would accept me is just wasted energy. I am wasting so much energy on the 1% of people who don’t care to be apart of my life. AND, why would I want them to be apart of my life if they don’t even want to be apart of it?

Jay Shetty states, “Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth”

When we start to see the value in ourselves, we start to discover the people around us who see value in us.

See we need to transition our thinking to focusing less on the people who don’t care and more on the people who already care. The people who want to cheer us on. The people who are already in our corners.
The people sitting at our table, listening intently as we announce our next big dream.
And once we speak that dream into fruition, they are the ones sitting at the table helping us plan, execute, all while screaming in support of YOU.

Friends, THOSE ARE YOUR PEOPLE!
The people that want your dreams to work so badly that they will do anything to keep you from talking yourself out of it.
The people who keep you accountable and never let you quit.
The people who show up, even when you don’t want them too- those are your people.

So start showing up to your table, start looking around at who’s sitting there ready to listen, and then start serving your people.