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It’s not personal

Do you ever catch yourself reacting to something in a not so lovely way? Specifically something someone has said to you? Suddenly your chest is tight, you feel inferior, and the world is ending. All over something you’re probably taking to personally.

Yep, I went there.
99% of the time we are taking things too personal and in return reacting negatively.

Lately when I start to notice myself reacting negatively to something someone has said to me or texted me, I do my best to stop myself and ask one question. Am I taking this personally? The answer is almost always yes, and from there I evaluate if it is actually personal.
Is what they said really about me? Or am I making it about me?

Humans are selfish beings. We are constantly focused on keeping ourselves alive, and it’s necessary, without putting our oxygen mask on first we would never get the opportunity to save the person next to us. But because we are selfish we tend to forget that not everything is about us. Other people’s intentions are not always to go against us and make us feel bad. Most of the time we are just reading the message wrong, or taking it the way we hear the message– not the way the person meant it to be.

It’s not personal.
Whatever the text said that you are looming over like its the last day on earth- it’s not personal.
Whatever your boss told you that disrupted your day- it’s not personal.
Whatever you thought your best friend meant by saying your butt looked fat in those jeans- eh, that might be personal but bottom line she may be just as insecure about her butt in her own jeans!
It’s not personal.
Stop taking everything so personal.

And while I’m on my soap box- stop assuming everyone is against you!
Friends, don’t you believe in humanity? That maybe a small percentage of people on this earth are actually FOR you and not against you?
From now on, I’m going to assume every single person I interact with is on my side. They like me, they think I am the most awesome person on the planet. And until they tell me otherwise- they love me.

How would it change the current state of our world if we believed other people liked us? How often, especially as women, do we immediately assume someone hates us? Be it a fellow girl or the guy at work we have a crush on but continue to say something like, “He’ll probably never like me.” GIRLFRIEND, what if he already does? You’re not even giving him the benefit of the doubt because you’re so consumed with the fact you think people don’t like you.
Get off your high horse.
People like you but you don’t give them the chance to.

Friends, it’s not personal and not everyone is against you.
Start to ask yourself when you react, am I taking this personally?
If you are taking something personally, take a step back and evaluate why- because that’s on you and not the other person. Take some ownership before starting down a road neither of you wants to head down.
And give people the benefit of the doubt, I know it may seem like the world is against itself right now, but you’d be surprised what people do when you decide to give them a chance.

In the words of the very millennial (but not better than) version of Grease, We’re all in this together (High School Musical).
Remember, tomorrow is just another version of today but brighter.

The sun will rise again.

Love your internet bestie,

Kass