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It’s not personal

Do you ever catch yourself reacting to something in a not so lovely way? Specifically something someone has said to you? Suddenly your chest is tight, you feel inferior, and the world is ending. All over something you’re probably taking to personally.

Yep, I went there.
99% of the time we are taking things too personal and in return reacting negatively.

Lately when I start to notice myself reacting negatively to something someone has said to me or texted me, I do my best to stop myself and ask one question. Am I taking this personally? The answer is almost always yes, and from there I evaluate if it is actually personal.
Is what they said really about me? Or am I making it about me?

Humans are selfish beings. We are constantly focused on keeping ourselves alive, and it’s necessary, without putting our oxygen mask on first we would never get the opportunity to save the person next to us. But because we are selfish we tend to forget that not everything is about us. Other people’s intentions are not always to go against us and make us feel bad. Most of the time we are just reading the message wrong, or taking it the way we hear the message– not the way the person meant it to be.

It’s not personal.
Whatever the text said that you are looming over like its the last day on earth- it’s not personal.
Whatever your boss told you that disrupted your day- it’s not personal.
Whatever you thought your best friend meant by saying your butt looked fat in those jeans- eh, that might be personal but bottom line she may be just as insecure about her butt in her own jeans!
It’s not personal.
Stop taking everything so personal.

And while I’m on my soap box- stop assuming everyone is against you!
Friends, don’t you believe in humanity? That maybe a small percentage of people on this earth are actually FOR you and not against you?
From now on, I’m going to assume every single person I interact with is on my side. They like me, they think I am the most awesome person on the planet. And until they tell me otherwise- they love me.

How would it change the current state of our world if we believed other people liked us? How often, especially as women, do we immediately assume someone hates us? Be it a fellow girl or the guy at work we have a crush on but continue to say something like, “He’ll probably never like me.” GIRLFRIEND, what if he already does? You’re not even giving him the benefit of the doubt because you’re so consumed with the fact you think people don’t like you.
Get off your high horse.
People like you but you don’t give them the chance to.

Friends, it’s not personal and not everyone is against you.
Start to ask yourself when you react, am I taking this personally?
If you are taking something personally, take a step back and evaluate why- because that’s on you and not the other person. Take some ownership before starting down a road neither of you wants to head down.
And give people the benefit of the doubt, I know it may seem like the world is against itself right now, but you’d be surprised what people do when you decide to give them a chance.

In the words of the very millennial (but not better than) version of Grease, We’re all in this together (High School Musical).
Remember, tomorrow is just another version of today but brighter.

The sun will rise again.

Love your internet bestie,

Kass

My List of Life

A few months into 2020 I got a message questioning why I was working through my bucket list. On one hand, it’s none of your business magical follower :), on the other hand I really wanted to answer from my soul. I do my best to always have the purest intentions in everything I do. I rarely do anything without a purpose or a larger meaning.

Marking things off my bucket list, creating moments that remind me how precious my life is, stopping my every day life to go do something crazy- it’s all taught me some of the most important life lessons. But the #1 thing I’ve learned over the last 7 months is that I am capable of doing absolutely ANYTHING.

I know, we all say it. Our moms tell us when were young, “You can do anything you set your mind too!” But do you actually believe that? When you look deep within you, do you actually believe you can do ANYTHING? I didn’t. I said I did, but I was lying. Until I jumped out of a plane, swam with sharks, took a road trip to the springs, and floated in a hot air balloon. Those moments taught me I can truly do anything I set my mind too.

We can prime ourselves to believe we can do things, but to prove it to yourself is whole other level of believing you can. It’s like that saying, “When people show you who they are, believe them” we are watching their ACTIONS. If you spring into action and show yourself you can complete the extraordinary, then you will finally believe that you can.

The other day someone asked me if I would ever do something that was wild and crazy and scary. I sat back and thought, “Well, I don’t know if I would want to do that, but I definitely know that I CAN do that if I wanted.” I can accomplish anything, I know this because I free dived with sharks when I thought that there was going to be a cage- but I did it. I know I can do anything because I jumped out of a plane, took a dance lesson, and gave some blood.

I know what you’re thinking, wait… you? Kassidy? Who has ran for her life during a shooting and battled watching a love one die just now figured out you can make it through anything? After jumping out of a plane? Isn’t it scarier to run for your life?
Yes, but sometimes the lessons life gives us doesn’t teach us the things we thought it would. I’ve learned a lot from my trauma, but it didn’t learn to believe I can do anything. That, is thanks to my bucket list.

I am halfway through a year of bucket list items and something tells me I am just getting started.

To the person who questioned my why behind doing this, I hope you find or create your list of life and get to it- maybe you’ll discover a little bit about yourself along your voyage.

I hope my journey inspires you to live your list of life. The list that when you accomplish things on it, makes you feel full of LIFE! It makes you feel more alive than you’ve ever felt.
You deserve to feel alive.